


Surviving Padalecki

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-09-11
Updated: 2008-10-09
Packaged: 2018-09-03 03:52:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8695354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Jensen wished he what it would take to fall out of love with Padalecki.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** As usual I'm playing around with time lines.

Jerry Garcia once used the words “what a long strange trip it’s been” to describe the Grateful Dead.  Jensen thought the same words could be used to describe how he got here.  In this bed, with his man, who was thrusting up into him.

 

Jensen was straddling Jeff’s hips, half leaning over him, riding his cock.  Jeff reached up to squeeze Jensen’s nipples.  Jensen opened his eyes and looked down at Jeff. He bent down to rub his tongue over Jeff’s lips.  Jeff’s tongue met his.  

 

Jensen could fill his balls tighten and deepen the kiss.  He moaned into Jeff’s mouth as his climax hit and hit hard.  It had been awhile.

 

Jeff flipped them over so Jensen was on his back.  Jeff rose up on his hands and after deep, fast thrusts he came inside Jensen.  He gently pulled out and lay down beside him.  When his breath returned somewhat to normal, Jeff got up and padded to the bathroom.  

 

He came back with a warm, wet washcloth and wiped Jensen’s stomach, cock and balls.  He lifted one leg to wipe Jensen’s anus.  Jensen let out a sharp breath as the rough cloth gave him a little post-orgasmic shock.  Jeff smiled at that.  Jensen smiled back at him.  

 

After taking washcloth back to the bathroom, Jeff crawled between Jensen’s legs and laid his head on Jensen’s chest.  Jensen put his arms around him and listened to his breathing slow down into sleep. 

 

Jensen laid in bed and listen to the Pittsburgh traffic outside his hotel.  He hoped this would make him feel better, feel loved, wanted.  But Jeff wasn’t the man he was in love with.  Jeff was his good friend and for months, his rock.  Jensen kissed the top of Jeff’s head and hugged him tighter.  

 

Jensen remembered Jeff’s first day on Supernatural.  Neither he nor Jared had ever heard of him.   Robert Singer was walking with him through the sound stage and every head turned.   When Robert introduced him, Jensen thought Jeff was the living embodiment of all his sexual fantasies and fell into lust at first sight.  But as the week went on Jensen found in spite of a twelve-year age difference, they had a lot in common.  They liked the same music and laughed at the same things.  They always had something to talk about.  

 

When he and Jeff were in L.A. at the same time over hiatus, Jensen would call and ask him out to dinner or a Kane concert.  He introduced Jeff to Chris and Steve and they seemed to like each other.  Often Jared would join them, Sandy occasionally. 

 

Just as Jensen was wondering if Jeff was gay, he told Jensen he had met Mary Louise Parker and was madly, head over heels in love.  Jensen took a deep breath and wished his friend well.  

 

On a cold November night, Jared kissed him.  Like it was the most natural thing in the world.  They didn’t talk about it.  They didn’t flirt or dance around it. Jared leaned in and kissed him.  They stared at each other for a couple of minutes and muttered about having to be somewhere.  A week later they tried to kiss again after talking and analyzing it to death.  It was awkward and embarrassing and they vowed never to try again.  A couple of months later on an even colder night, Jared leaned in and kissed him.  Later that night, they made love for the first time.  Jensen went from being friends with Jared to being in love with him.  For the next year and a half, they were lovers.  They agreed to keep that part of their lives secret.  Jared carried on in public with Sandy while swearing to Jensen it was nothing.  Everyone just thought Jensen was very private and didn’t pry.

 

Jeff called to say he and Mary Louise were engaged.  But the best part was Jeff had become close with her little boy and was looking forward to fatherhood.  Jensen never heard his friend so happy.  

 

Then the engagement was over as quickly as it began.  Jeff found out Mary Louise was cheating on him.  Jensen didn’t think he would ever hear anyone as heart broken as Jeff.  He had lost a woman he genuinely loved and worst an almost son.  Jensen told Jeff it was all Mary Louise’s fault and she wasn’t good enough for him.  Jensen would call Jeff when he could to check on him.  

 

The writer’s strike hit and the producers decided to send Jensen and Jared on overseas press junkets.  Jared told him he was taking Sandy with him to Europe as a final gift.  He was in love with Jensen and Sandy had to know it was over between them.  They made love the night before they left on separate press junkets.  They vowed to stay together.

 

“I got engaged in Paris.”

 

Jensen could hear those words four months later as if Jared as in the room saying them.  Jensen buried his face in Jeff’s hair and tried to control the tears.  He didn’t want to wake him.  He didn’t want to cry over Jared again. Four months was enough.  

 

Jensen didn’t want to hear Jared explain what happened.  They fought. They yelled. And then they cried.  

 

That is how Jensen ended up in a hotel room in Pittsburgh working on a remake of an 80’s movie that wasn’t any good to begin with.  He leaned on Jeff.  Jeff told him it was all Padalecki’s fault and he wasn’t good enough for Jensen.  Jeff called when he could to check on him.  

 

Jim Beaver sent him an e-mail.  Dallas convention was great.  Loved the fans, they say hi.  Jared and Sandy broke up.  How’s the movie going?

 

Jensen felt like he was slapped across the face.  Jared and Sandy broke up and he felt he had heard it from Padalecki’s dentist’s butcher’s second cousin’s babysitter.  Jared didn’t leave Sandy for him.  Just when he felt Jared couldn’t hurt him more, his heart couldn’t break more, Padalecki proved him wrong. 

 

Jensen had his driver stop at a liquor store on the way back to the hotel.  Jensen brought two twelve packs of beer and one bottle of Southern Comfort.  When he got back in the car, Jensen opened the Southern Comfort and took a long drink.  The driver looked at him in the rear view mirror.  

 

“Mind you own damn business.”  If he wanted to drink every drop in one night it was nobody else’s business.

 

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

What was that damn noise?

 

Jensen lifted his head and felt his stomach roll.  He had to vomit and piss and wondered if he could do both at the same time.  But first he had to stop that noise.

 

SHIT! SOMEONE’S AT THE DOOR! His boozed addled brain screamed at him.  

 

He fell out of bed onto the floor.  Shit, how lost was his weekend?

 

It had to be his driver banging on the door.  It was Monday and he had to go to work.

 

The room stopped spinning long enough for him to get to his feet.  On the way to the bathroom, he opened the door.

 

Forget getting to the bathroom. He barely got his dick out before the stream of piss started.  He leaned against the wall by the toilet.  He could vomit and piss at the same time. It just took hand/eye coordination.

 

As he was rinsing his mouth out, he heard a deep voice say something about hamburgers.  He stomach lurched. 

 

Who the hell was in his room?  His driver was a middle age woman named Betty.

 

Jensen slowly walked out of the bathroom and peeked into the living room area.  Jeff was opening the patio doors.  Jensen breathed a deep sigh of relief.

 

Jeff turned and saw him.  He walked over to Jensen’s suitcase and got out a clean t-shirt and jeans.  

 

“I don’t know what smells worst, you or this room.  Take a shower, it will be a while until room service gets here.”  Jeff gave him the clean clothes and gently pushed him toward the bathroom.

 

A hot shower actually felt good.  He headache lessen to a dull pounding.  He got dressed and walked out to find room service had arrived.  Jeff had cleaned up the room of the beer cans.  

 

Jensen sat down at the table.  Jeff put the hamburger and fries in front of him and sat down across from him.

 

“What time is it?” Jensen took a bite of the hamburger and chew slowly.  He forced himself to look up a Jeff.

 

“Seven p.m.” Jeff smiled at him. “It’s Sunday evening in case you’re wondering.”

 

Jensen took a couple more bites. “Why are you here? I mean I’m always happy to see you.” Jensen’s voice trailed off.  What didn’t he remember?

 

Jeff wiped his mouth. “I got worried after the fourth drunken phone call.” 

 

Jensen dropped his hamburger and covered his eyes.

 

“I’m was scheduled to fly to New York tomorrow.  I decided to change my flight and stop to check on you.”

 

Jensen wasn’t embarrassed-he was mortified.  “Jeff, I’m so sorry….”

 

“What did he do now?”

 

Jensen looked at Jeff puzzled.

 

“What did Padalecki do that upset you so much?  Jensen, this is not like you.  You are the most in control person I know, but you have been in tail spin for the past four months.”

 

Jensen looked at his plate.  Damn tears. Hopefully he didn’t drink all the beer.

 

“He broke up with Sandy.”

 

Jensen felt a warm hand touch the top of his head and slide down to his cheek. He pressed the hand between his face and shoulder.

 

“He didn’t leave her for me.”

 

“How do you know that?”

 

“Because he didn’t tell me.”  Jensen gave a little laugh/sob. “Jim Beaver e-mailed me.”

 

Jeff made Jensen look at him without taking his hand away.

 

“I know what it is like to love someone with all your heart and to have that someone walk away without looking back over their shoulder.  It is something that takes time to get over.  You are a beautiful, kind man, but Padalecki turns you into a clingy, crying mess.  What are you going to do when the new season starts?”

 

All Jensen feels is dread when he thinks of the new season.

 

“Jensen, you are stronger than this.”

 

Jensen nods because he doesn’t know what else to do.  Jeff nods too.  They eat the rest of their dinner in silence.

After dinner they spilt a beer. A spilt beer lead to one word. One word lead to a kiss.  

 

Jensen wanted to feel loved.  More than one crew and cast member threw themselves at him during the shoot.  But he wanted to be touched, kissed by someone who loved him.

 

Jeff didn’t say no.  For whatever reason, he didn’t say no.

 

So here they were in bed. Jeff asleep and Jensen feeling more sad and lonely than before.

 

He wished he knew what it would take to fall out of love with Padalecki.

 TBC


	3. Chapter 3

He looked at the clock on the stove. 6:30 a.m. and he was making his second pot of coffee.  He hadn’t slept all night.  He tossed and turned for a couple of hours.  The cable wasn’t turned on yet, so he surf the four local stations. He took a bath. Tried to read a book he brought six months ago and never started.  At a quarter of four, he decided to make coffee and just stay up.  

 

Supernatural was scheduled to start shooting in a week.  He came in early to get the condo he rented back into living shape.  He worked for two days hoping to use up the anxiety he was feeling.  

 

He also had a week of prep. Costume fittings, Dean had been in Hell and now he got a whole new wardrobe. Work on the first five scripts that had already been written. Work with the stunt guys. Meet with Kim. 

 

See Jared for the first time in months.  

 

Maybe he should add a little something to his coffee.  

 

Around 9 am he washed the coffee pot and cup.  The sooner he got this started, the sooner it would be over.

 

When he got to the studio and entered the production office, he hugged the office folks and met with Kim.  He did some wardrobe fittings. In his opinion, Dean left his fashion sense in Hell. 

 

As he was leaving Wardrobe he saw the transportation guys. After manly hugs and back slapping, they told him his trailer was ready.  If he found anything wrong, let them know.

 

Jensen walked around the corner of the trailer-and saw Jared on the steps to his trailer.  He froze.  

 

Jared must have sensed him and turned to look at him.

 

They made eye contact and stared at each other for a couple of minutes.  Then Jared went into his trailer.

 

Jensen willed his feet to start moving and entered his trailer.  He sat down on the sofa.  He looked at his shaking hands and told himself it was the ten cups of coffee he had.  But he knew it was seeing Jared.  But the worst part was Jared looked….unaffected by their breakup.  While Jensen cried and drank his way through the spring, Jared hadn’t given it a second thought.  And that’s what really hurt. 

 

Jensen jumped when his cell phone rang.  Caller I.D. said Jeff Cell.

 

“Hi Jeff.” Jensen hoped he sounded like he just hadn’t just fallen apart.

 

“Hi Buddy.  I just got into town.  How about I met you at your place and make dinner?”

 

Jeff hadn’t mention he had business in Vancouver.  During the two weeks between wrapping “Valentine” and having to leave for Vancouver, they met up in L.A., but didn’t sleep together.  

 

“Sure.  I should be home around six.  You know where the extra key is hidden. Make yourself at home.” 

 

“See you then.”

 

His phone rang again.  It was the office PA.  Robert Singer wanted to have lunch with him and Jared at in his office at two. 

 

By the time Jensen got to Robert’s office, Jared was there.  They made a show of greeting each other so Robert wouldn’t get suspicious.  Jared didn’t look at him most of the meal. It was a miracle he managed to swallow the two bites he ate.  When lunch was over Jared literally bolted from the office.  Robert looked puzzled at Jensen who shrugged and bolted.

 

Jensen worked in his trailer for a few hours.  Every once and a while he would hear Jared talking or moving around next door.  He had enough and decided to go home.

 

Jeff was putting the last touches on the lasagna he was making for dinner when Jensen walked into the kitchen.

 

They hugged each other. He kissed Jeff like his life depended on it.  He forced his tongue into Jeff’s mouth.  He started tearing at Jeff’s clothes.

 

Jeff pulled Jensen away from him.  Jensen looked at him surprised and grabbed Jeff’s shirt to pull him back.  Jeff stood his ground.

 

“Jensen, you’re bleeding all over me.”

 

Jensen let go and stumbled back.  “I’m so sorry.”

  

He fled to his bedroom and slammed the door.  How could he have taken out all his hurt and frustration on Jeff again? Jensen sat on the floor in front of the door until he felt he could face Jeff.  

 

Jeff was sitting at the kitchen table smoking a cigar and drinking a glass of wine.  Jensen sat down on the chair closest to him.  There were so many things he wanted to say, but knew if he spoke it would be incoherent.

 

Jeff reached for an empty wine glass already on the table.  He poured some wine and set it in front of Jensen.

 

“I’m a big boy, I knew what I was getting myself into. There’s a plane at 9:30. When you hear the timer, turn the stove off.”

 

As Jeff started to stand, Jensen put his hand on Jeff’s arm. “You don’t have to leave.”

 

“Yeah, I do.” Jeff kissed him on the forehead.

 

Jensen sat at the table until heard the front door close.  He stood up, grabbed the wine bottle and turned off the stove and timer as he went by.

 

He undressed and got into bed.  He drank the wine from the bottle as he watched the room become darker as the sun went down.  Eventually, he went to go to sleep.

 

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

The ringing woke him up.  If Jensen didn’t have such a nasty hangover, he may found the phone quicker.

 

“Jeff?!”

 

“Um….no it’s Lou.”  Lou Bello was the stunt coordinator of Supernatural. “We’re waiting for you.  Where are you?”

 

Jensen looked at the bedside clock. SHIT! He was supposed to meet Lou and the other stunt guys thirty minutes ago.

 

“Lou, I’m sorry the power went out. I overslept. Give me twenty minutes.”

 

Lou sounded concern, “Are you alright? Do we need to reschedule?”

 

“No, no.  I’ll be there.”

 

Jensen shut his cell phone.  As he stumbled into the shower he thought maybe Lou could beat some sense into him.

 

After working with the stunt guys for about five hours, they decided to break for lunch and go to the commissary.  

 

Jensen wanted to clean up and said he would meet them.  He walked to his trailer and saw Jared’s trailer door was open.  It was a nice day, nothing wrong with a little fresh air.  He heard Jared laughing and talking to someone.  He really didn’t mean to slam his trailer door that hard.

 

Jensen washed his face and armpits, put on some deodorant.  As he was slipping a clean t-shirt over his head there was a knock on the trailer’s door.

 

He opened the door to find Jared.

 

“Hey man.  May I have a few minutes of your time?”  Jared sound so formal.  Jensen remembered a time they would walk into each other trailers without knocking.

 

“Yeah, what do you need?”

 

Jared gave him the Sam bitch face. “You going to invite me in or are you going to make me say it out here?”

 

Jensen stepped aside and Jared stepped in.  If anyone had told him that he and Jared would feel this awkward around each other, he would have laughed.

 

“Listen, we have to work together for the next nine months…..  We were really good friends.  Can’t we be again?”

 

No thought Jensen.

 

Jared seemed to read his mind.  “We can find some common ground for the good of the show.”  

 

Jensen just stared at him.  He knew Jared was trying, and well maybe he could too.

 

“Come over for dinner tonight.  I was late getting into the house all I have is dog food.”  Jared seem to realized what he just said and chuckled. “No I won’t feed you dog food. I’ll order Chinese…..” Jared stopped.  After many bouts of lovemaking they always ordered Chinese because they would deliver. “Pizza,” Jared smiled. “When was the last time you had pizza?” The staple of film crews everywhere.

 

That made Jensen laugh.  “Jared, I actually have food. Come over to my place.”

 

Jared’s grin showed every inch of dimple. “Okay, is seven good?"

 

“Yeah seven’s good. Bring beer.”

 

Jared opened the door. “See you at seven with beer in hand.”

 

Jensen watched him walk away.  Maybe this is what he needed to put the last few months behind him.

 

When Jensen got home, he checked the lasagna that had been sitting in the oven for hours.  It looked all right just not cooked. It smelled all right.  Well if they were going to get food poisoning they would get it together.  He couldn’t remember what temperature Jeff had set the oven, so he set it for 450.

 

He took a shower and put on a clean pair of jeans and his red PUMA shirt. He went to check on the lasagna.  The kitchen smelled great.  

 

Jensen set in the living room and waited.  This wasn’t a date. This didn’t mean Jared wanted to reconcile.  This was a way to figure out how to work together.  The show depended on their chemistry.

 

The doorbell made him jump he was so lost in his thoughts.  Jared was ten minutes early, but he had beer with him. 

 

 Jared was wearing a white polo shirt with the buttons undone and jeans.   Stay focus, Jensen. 

 

Jensen took the lasagna out of the oven.  The edges were hard and crusty, but the center was cook through.  He fixed plates and put one down in front of Jared.

 

They sat at the kitchen table neither saying anything.  This was Jared’s ideal, so let Jared speak first.

 

“Is Jeff still here or did he just come for a visit?”

 

Jensen looked up surprised.  “He came for a visit.”

 

“He made lasagna for us remember?”

 

In L.A. after a Kane concert, Jeff invited everyone back to his house for dinner.

 

He started to tell Jared he just remembered when he notice Jared was frowning at him.

“Lasagna not as good as you remembered?”

 

Jared continued to frown, “Was wondering what Jeff was doing here?”

 

Jensen realized what Jared was getting at. “Let’s change the subject.”

 

Jared took drink of beer and turned to Jensen. “How was Pittsburgh? Make any new friends?”

 

Jensen had a fork full of lasagna halfway to his mouth.  He stopped and bit back his anger. He looked Jared in the eye. “Don’t you dare.”

 

Jared raised an eyebrow.  “You wouldn’t believe the good time I had in Austin.”

 

This time Jensen didn’t bit back his anger. He dropped his fork onto his plate and stood up.  “Get out.”

 

Jared stayed seated, looking up at Jensen, daring him. 

 

Jensen pulled Jared off the chair by his upper arm, and pushed him toward the front door.  

 

Jared started walking with Jensen following.  Suddenly Jared turned and Jensen was flat on his back with Jared straddling his thighs.  Jared pinned his wrists beside his head.

 

“GET OFF ME!!  Jensen tried push Jared off, but Jared just glared down at him.

 

Jensen glared back. “PITTSBURGH WAS GREAT BECAUSE I FUCKED JEFF.  WHY THE HELL DID I WASTE SO MUCH TIME WITH YOUR SORRY ASS WHEN I COULD HAVE BEEN WITH HIM!!”

 

Jared looked like he was literally going to beat Jensen to death.

 

Jensen was surprised when Jared crushed their mouths together.  He groaned deep in his throat and kissed back.  He had longed for Jared so much. Would have been satisfied with one kiss from him.

 

His brain kicked in.  He was angry with Jared.  He was tried of Jared treating him like something he wiped off his shoe.

 

Jensen opened his mouth and bit Jared’s bottom lip as hard as he could. Jared let out a cry of pain and tried to pull away while still pinning Jensen to the floor. 

 

He finally let go of Jared’s lip.  He could see blood as Jared licked his bottom lip. 

 

Jared moved Jensen’s hands above his head and crossed them so he could hold both with one hand.  “You like to bite, pretty boy?”

 

Jensen was seething. “The minute I get loose I’m going to do a lot more than bite, I’m going to beat the shit out of you.”

 

“Be careful,” Jared started to unbutton Jensen’s jeans. He pulled down the zipper as he lean close to Jensen’s face. “I can bite too.”

 

Jared leaned back just as Jensen tried to bite him again.  He took advantage of the distraction and flipped Jensen over on his stomach, pinned him again with his hands over his head.

 

Jensen felt his shirt pushed up.  Jared started biting his back.  Little bites, hard enough to leave teeth marks, but not break the skin.  Every bite went straight to Jensen’s cock making him hard.

 

His pants were pulled down to his thighs.  The bites moved from his back to his butt cheeks.  He tried to control his breathing, didn’t want to give Jared the satisfaction. But apparently his heart wasn’t alone wanting, needing Jared.

 

Cold liquid on the small of his back yanked him out of his thoughts.  He felt fingers rub through the liquid, rub down his crack to the opening.  Jensen buried his face in the carpet to muffle the moan.  

 

Then the finger entered him and he tried to push back.  Between his pants and Jared sitting on his thighs, he couldn’t move, couldn’t spread his legs wider.  His hard cock was painfully mashed under him.

 

A second finger pushed in beside the first.  This time Jensen didn’t muffle the moan and raised his hips.  He looked up where Jared’s hand was holding both of his.  He looked at the muscled arm, the veins.  He wanted to lick the veins-like he always did during their lovemaking.  He wanted to bite into the firm muscle.  Jared’s arms were as erotic as Jared’s cock.

 

“Close your eyes and think of Jeff, just as long as you get me off.”  Jared whispered in his ear. Then he felt Jared’s cock push into his body.  

 

Jensen closed his eyes and laid his head on the floor. He felt with his fingers until he found one of Jared’s fingers and gripped it one hand. He gripped the carpet with the other.  It was Jared thrusting inside him.  How he missed the way Jared felt inside him. It was like an electric jolt running on every nerve in his body, literally ripped the pleasure out of him.  Jared was panting in his ear and Jensen matched him pant for pant.

 

Jared pulled out. His hands were released.  He felt Jared get off of him.  

 

What happened?! Jared hadn’t come.  

 

Jensen opened his eyes as Jared’s shoes cross his vision.  Jared was walking away.  

 

He left Jensen lying on the floor rock hard and his pants pulled down.

 

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

He didn’t hear the front door.  Jensen reached behind him and pulled his pants up.  His hard on had lost all of its enthusiasm. 

 

He looked down the hall and saw a light coming from his bedroom.  

 

Jensen stopped in the doorway of his room.  Jared was sitting on his bed head bowed, with his elbows on his knees.

 

“Jared what are you doing?”

 

“I’m sorry….”, Jared said looking up. “When I tasted the lasagna, all I could think about was you and Jeff wrapped around each other.  I just ….did you really sleep with Jeff?”

 

“Did you really sleep with Sandy?”, Jensen snapped. 

 

Jensen walked to a chair across from the bed.  He was exhausted from the emotional turmoil.  “Jared, I can’t keep doing this with you.   You may have taken our relationship in stride, but it meant everything to me.”

 

Jared frowned at him. “In stride?! In Austin I stewed, I cried, I got angry.  Every day damn day I picked up the phone to call you.  Every night I went back to that empty hotel room and all I did was think of you. How much I missed you, how much I wanted to be where you were making love.   If I meant so much to you why did you leave me?”

 

“Because where I come from an engagement is suppose to mean something. The whole time we were together, you were seen with Sandy, you talked about her in interviews.  When she came up to do the show, she stayed with you.  Let’s face it Jared you were a greedy bastard and wanted both of us. Only she caught on before I did.”

 

Jared shook his head, “You know better than that.  Can you even grasp what it was like knowing I had to tell you about the engagement? I told myself I would explain that Sandy begged me not to leave her.  That I couldn’t hurt her when she was so far away from home.  You would understand and we would work it out.”

 

“Hell Jared you got engaged to Sandy while we were together.  What did you expect me to do?”

 

“NOT LEAVE!  Yell at me. Curse my soul to hell.  Anything but leave.”

 

Jensen fought to keep control of his emotions. “We are not doing this tonight.  We are not going to tear this relationship apart again. This is not going to become a game of who hurt whom the worst.”

 

“How long have you and Jeff been sleeping together?”

 

“Jared you don’t….”

 

“Yeah, I do.”

 

It was the second time a man said that to him in as many days.  

 

“Jensen.  I need some sense of closure.  Do you love him?”

 

Jensen saw the tears filling Jared’s eyes.  “The only time I slept with Jeff was after I found out the engagement was over.  I tried again, but he had enough sense to see what was happing.  That is why he’s not here now.”

 

He needed some sense of closure too.  “Why didn’t you tell me the engagement was off and about the split up?”

 

“Because I was disappointed in you.”

 

Jensen was stunned-then angry.  “Disappointed in me?”

 

“Yes.” Jared frowned at him. “You didn’t trust me! You didn’t trust that I love you.  You didn’t trust that I would stay with you.  You didn’t trust I was going to stay engaged for month and break it off.”  Jared looked frustrated.   “I came over here to see if there was something to salvage of this relationship.  If our heads were clearer and we could talk this out, not pin you to the living room floor in anger.”

 

Jared was off the bed pulling Jensen up.  Before a squeak of surprise left Jensen’s lips, Jared was kissing him. 

 

Jensen put his arms around Jared’s shoulders and opened his mouth sucking Jared’s tongue in.  

 

Jared was moving them to the bed. Jensen heard something crash to the ground. Then he was sat on the bed with Jared between his legs.  Jared was trying to pull Jensen’s pants down without breaking the kiss.  Jensen leaned back on one hand and lifted his hips.  

 

The minute his pants were down, his cock was in his Jared’s mouth.  The hand he wasn’t leaning on wrapped itself in Jared’s hair.  All the times he had dreamed of Jared sucking him over the last months, remembering the times before, did not compare to how good this felt.  

 

“I’m going to come.” He was trying to pull Jared off him.  He wanted Jared inside him.

 

Jared went completely down on his cock and gently sucked until Jensen climax.  He swallowed the cum down around Jensen’s cock.  Then he pulled off to kiss and lick the little hairs between Jensen’s navel and pubic hair.  He loved that part of Jensen’s stomach.   He pulled Jensen’s pants off and his shirt over his head.

 

Jensen scooted back on the bed as Jared stood and pulled the polo shirt over his head. He undid his pants and let them fall.  Jensen’s breath caught as Jared stood in front of him wearing only tight black briefs. Jensen stared at the covered cock.  Jared put his fingers in the waistband  and pulled his briefs down.  His cock bounced against his stomach leaving a smear of cum.  Jensen swore hear could hear the whop.  

 

Jared lay down on the bed beside Jensen.  “Turn over.”  He gave Jensen’s hip a nudge.  Jensen rolled over on his stomach.  He felt Jared kiss the bite marks on his back moving down to kiss the bite marks on his butt cheeks.  Jared reached between his legs, under him to stoke across Jensen’s balls and cock.   Jensen raised his hips and gripped the sheets.

 

Jared kissed back up his back, across his shoulder.  Jensen raised his head when Jared got close to his mouth.  He put his hand on Jared’s chest to push him down on bed.  

 

Jensen straddled Jared’s hips. He ran his tongue over Jared’s bottom lip. “I am sorry a bit you.” 

 

“You’re forgiven.”

 

They kissed as Jensen slowly thrust his hips to rub their cocks together. Jensen moved to kissing Jared’s neck as he squeezed Jared’s breast.  He kissed down Jared’s chest to one nipple.  He loved Jared’s nipples, they were like pencil easers.  He sucked one while rubbing his thumb over the other one.  

 

Jared held his head by a handful of hair, moving him over the suck the other nipple.  

 

Jensen leaned over to the bedside table for the lube.  He saw that several things had been knocked off. He chuckled, but found the lube still on the table.

 

Jensen ran the point of his tongue down Jared’s stomach until he reached his cock.  While running his tongue up and down the underside vein, Jensen opened the lube and poured some on his fingers.  He opened his mouth and as he sucked Jared inside, he pushed two fingers into his own anus.  He sat up a rhythm on pushing his fingers in, stretching himself when he pulled up on Jared’s cock.

 

Jared rose up on his elbows and moaned deep in his throat.  He could see Jensen’s arm moving between his legs.  Jared closed his eyes and imaged Jensen’s fingers in and out his tight brownish pink hole.  It was all Jared could do not to cum at the image. 

 

He pulled Jensen off his cock and up his body.  He looked into Jensen’s green eyes while trying to get himself under control.  

 

Jensen looked into Jared’s hazel eyes and slowly started to push himself down on Jared’s cock.  There was not enough lube, but the burning let him know Jared was really here, really under him.

 

Jensen lay down on Jared as he rode his cock.  He felt Jared’s hands rub his back, squeezed his butt, fingers moving down to where they were joined, softly rubbing over the underside of his balls.

 

They wet, sloppy tongue kissed as Jared thrust up into Jensen.  

 

When Jensen said “I love you so much” Jared flipped them.  He rose up on his hands and Jensen spread his legs further.  Jensen held on to Jared’s forearms, feeling the muscle.  He turned his head and leaned over to lick across the veins.  He gently bit the inside forearm, tasting sweat and unique Jared taste.

 

While he was sucking and licking, Jared whispered in his ear, “I love you still.”  Jensen came hard, the cum coating his stomach up to his nipples.  It literally ripped thru him.  

 

Jared watched him cum thrusting deep into Jensen’s body until he climaxed.   

 

They looked at each other panting.  Silently promising each other they were going to do things right this time.

 

Jared started licking the cum off Jensen’s stomach.  

 

Jensen pulled Jared’s arm up and started licking it in the same rhythm Jared was licking his stomach.

 

The next morning Jensen was drinking coffee and packing his set bag as Jared finished showering.  He felt better than he had in a really long time.  He also realized he needed to make things right with Jeff.  He had hurt his friend.

 

Jared came into the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee.  He was wearing the clothes from the previous night, his hair wet from the shower.

 

Jared leaned his butt against the table.  “I have an idea.  Move in with me.”

 

Jensen looked at Jared with disbelief.

 

“Live with me.”

 

“But you wanted to keep things a secret.  Our careers….”

 

Jared pulled Jensen between his legs.

 

“We’re not going to have a press conference and it’s no one else business.  Besides, think of all the fangirl support.  Once you have the fangirls, the rest of the world falls in line.”  Jared smiled at him.

 

Jensen laughed. “The fangirls are a force to be reckon with.”

 

Jared shook Jensen’s hips come on.

 

“Yeah I’ll live with you.”

 

Jared pulled him into a tight hug.  Jensen couldn’t help smiling.

 

He was sure Jeff would be happy for him.

 

The end


End file.
